The word "Change" can be: exciting, different, thrilling, exhilarating. But most of all, down right NOT FUN!!!!!!

Who knew that 2 1/2 years ago, my family would undergo the most drastic "change" we've ever experienced. That with one conversation, our lives (as we knew them) would be turned up side down.

Almost 6 months ago, I packed up my parents and youngest brother and sent them off to Israel to live. I thought that I would never be able to survive without them but I knew that having the rest of my family here with me in Texas was going to be my saving grace. Some may not be able to comprehend but my family and I are really close. Not a weird sort of close, but we all truly (spouses included) love being around each other. Having to pack up my parents house and sell most of the belongings that I remember growing up with, was the hardest thing I've had to do. When you see a casserole dish that your mom made all your favorite dishes in as a child walking out the door with some stranger cause they bought it in a garage sale, it makes you want to run after them screaming and demand that they stop stealing your stuff. You just can't begin to imagine the grieving process that I had, and still am having to go through. As if THAT wasn't hard enough....

....Here we are 6 months down the road, and NOW I'm having to pack my sister, Brother-in-love and beautiful, adorable, smart niece and nephew, to move to Belgium. Can it get any harder???? My sister who is my best friend, my 2nd mom to my children, my confidant, my call 6 times a day for stupid reasons person and my neighbor. I love her!!! I get so emotional just writing about it. I knew that when she married Jon that she was destined for a life overseas but it still doesn't make it any easier right now.
Today was move day for them. We loaded their 20 ft container this morning and watched it drive down the street on a semi headed to Houston and then to be loaded on a boat bound for Belgium. I did not have any emotions as we were loading things in or when I saw it drive away but right here in this moment, I feel all sorts of emotions. I feel happy that my sister is going to start this brand new life in Belgium and that my niece and nephew will be little french speakers. Happy that they are doing what the Lord has called them to do and that how fulfilled they will be. However, deep sadness that I won't get to see her or my little munchkins walk in the door unexpected and sadness that when I don't want to cook dinner, I can't just go 4 doors down to her house and eat her food. And that I wont be able to call her if something funny just happened, or if she wants to catch a late night movie with me after the kids have gone to bed. I got so used to having her so close to me. Belgium is going to be a HUGE adjustment.

Although I know that they are not actually moving for a couple more months, I know that the day is approaching. I'm having to prepare myself. I guess you could say there is some grieving that I'm having to go through.

I have lost my neighbor.

I used to pride myself in being a person who handles change well. But this kind of "change" I'm not handling well at all. It's not everyday you have to pack your parents, sister, brothers and nieces and nephews to go live overseas in the same year. Good thing is we serve a good God who supplies us with all of our needs. That includes GRACE. He has given me grace to have my mom, dad and brother living in Israel and I know that he will give me the grace to send my sister off to Belgium. But between now and then, I can sulk. :)I pray that we will not be separated for long. These sister's were meant to be in close proximity forever and always. So here's to you, "CHANGE". You're not my best friend right now.

7 comments:

Des said...

I'm refusing to be emotional now... maybe in a few days when I'm all settled... actually I got a little emotional tonight when Lyric kept telling me she wanted to go home. To HER home, over THERE (as she pointed outside). I told her this was her new home and said, "Why did you take away my home mom?"
I wanted to cry.
There has to be a reason for all of this. Some reason we are being separated now, but not forever.
We were made to be neighbors!

I LOVE YOU!

Jerri said...

Now you made ME cry! This has definitely been a difficult season...something I NEVER thought I could do. But here I am sitting in my Jerusalem living room listening to the Muslim call to prayer. Wow. How things have changed! We love our life in Jerusalem, but our hearts hurt with longing for our family! All I can say is, Abba is good and has orchestrated this season for our good. We couldn't have planned it if we had tried! We are seeing His plans and purposes fulfilled. And we WILL all be together again soon!
Great blog...you're a good writer!
I love you to the moon!

Margaret said...

Now I'm crying too. It is always so much fun to see your family together and to feel the genuine love and respect you have with each other. I DO understand what a loss this is for all of you.

But on the positive side, I am so blessed and prvileged to have one more Benjamin on my side of the pond. Hope the trend continues...

Sy said...

wow.. change is hard, especially when you have gone through as much as you have, good luck

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